I picked this picture because this is how my life is, for the most part. I have not really stopped for the past few weeks, I knew I was tired, but when you're going, going, going you don’t notice it. This morning I actually had the energy to wake up and do yoga, now I did about 7 minutes of yoga since Maliyah woke up, but in those first few minutes of just grounding myself, I was actually able to feel my true emotion and that is brokenness. The past five years have been tough, yes I have had good times, but I have had very sorrowful times as well. Divorce is never easy, even for the person that chooses divorce. Some people might think that it is a party over here, but it is not, I hate time sharing, I hate new people in my kid's lives, I hate all the emotions that I get from them on a daily basis. The sadness, of them, saying I don’t want to go to Dad’s and when they don’t get their way, I want to go to Dad’s. The knowing until they are 18 years old, they do not get to choose what house they are at, at any given time. All of that emotion came in that moment of silents, but say I never did any yoga or meditation, I would just go about my day, ignoring the brokenness I felt in that moment. The one thing about feeling is that you deal with it. And then you move on. May I never lose those still moments that helps me deal with life.
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